Do you know what your values are? Do you have a mission statement?
I’m not talking about work, or your personal life.. I’m talking about your family. Do you have a family mission statement? Do you make values-driven decisions as a family?
I am just getting back from coffee with a friend who also works with families, and we were discussing the decision tree that most of us have when figuring out our family schedule.
We want our kids to have awesome experiences, we want them to learn new things and follow their passion, we want them to be social and get along with others and be good people. We also need childcare and need them to be busy and want them to have experiences we couldn’t have.
All of these factors are real. And, if we overdo it, it’s the perfect storm of extreme stress, anxiety, and overwhelm.
We can’t do everything. And we can’t follow every single “rule”. If everyone else has their kids signed up for little league and guitar and tennis and chess and that cool ninja class… do you need to also? Maybe. Maybe not.
When we make decisions like this, we need to get really clear on what we gain in this decision as well as what we lose.
So, how do we do that?
Family Mission Statements Set Clear Values
You need a family mission statement, and a clear set of values to go along with them. You need to know what’s important to you (and who is important to you and your kids!) and what’s less important so you can make choices.
You need to know that every single time you sign up your child for after school care or after school dance team or guitar lessons, you’re deciding what they won’t be doing in addition to what they will be doing.
THere’s not one right or wrong way to make choices for your kids. The only right thing to do is to get really clear on what’s most important to you, and what you can leave behind. My grandma (a teacher for 60 years) always said “happy kids learn”. My dad (a pediatrician) always says that all kids really need is “common sense and love”.
Everything else is optional. There are a million great ways to raise a resilient, capable, independent kid.
Every Family Is Unique With Different Values
Each family needs their own decision tree based on what matters to you. Based on who your kids really are, what their strengths are, and what’s most important to them and to you. Based on how you want your kids to grow up, how you want them to end up, and how you want your relationship to be in the future.
In Raising Resilient Kids, we have a Family Mission and Values unit, complete with a full survey you give your kids so you can get super clear on what matters. We take the time to really focus on what’s important to your family and get clear on what we’re saying no to.
You can have a clear sense of purpose in what you want and don’t want for your family. And, if you joined Raising Resilient Kids for this cohort, you’ll have all of that before you finalize your next year’s school schedule.
Now’s the time to focus on your own desires and value systems for your own family, and cut your stress in half. Raising Resilient Kids gives you less agitation, and more calm and connection.
Please do book a call with me so we can decide if the upcoming Raising Resilient Kids program is right for your family. I’d love to see you there.
