Raising Resilient Kids…Without the Hardship
Is your kid too soft? Is your kids life too lacking in hardship to develop actual resilience?
This is a concern many of us have. Most of us want to do things differently than our parents did, but want to instill a similar amount of grit, self-assurance, and independence.
I’m no exception.
I was raised by an immigrant father. The kind who, when I got a hard-won 98% on my social studies test (not my usual grade range…), said “where are the other two points??” He meant it.
I became the CEO of a company before I turned 30, and he said “oh great, now they’ll want you to work even more.”
Textbook hard-to-please immigrant dad stuff. If you know, you know 😉
He was tough on me, just as his parents were tough on him. He thought he needed that toughness, because he was a “bad kid”. I thought I needed that toughness, because *I* was a bad kid. Bad grades, bad attitude, “bad” friends, bad kid all around.
I’m slowly realizing that I wasn’t so bad. Sure, I was rebellious, curious, stubborn, action-oriented, and alive to possibilities. But these are some of the very qualities that make my life so wonderfully full now.
He probably wasn’t that bad either.
Many of us have kids who have a pretty nice life compared to how we grew up. And we want that comfort for them!
We also want resilience.
I hope if my kid ever came home with a 98% I’d be high-fiving her and reminding her that she worked hard for the grade, and never mentioning the two “missing” points.
And, I also want to instill in her a grit that was hard-won for me.
Luckily, resilience can be learned, and we can guide our kids to grit without resorting to the same tactics our parents used.
Join me in-person in Westchester this Thursday, or online next week, to learn the key tools to raising strong, resilient, capable kids.
Immigrant dad, and other hardship, not required.
I’d love to hear from you- what’s something you appreciate about how you grew up? What’s something you’d like to do differently for your kids?
Rooting for you,
