I’m surrounded by deep grief and it’s invigorating.
My closest friends, family, and I have all recently lost some combination of our beloved: parents, children, spouses, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and pregnancies from the past 8 years through to a few months ago.
I have been walking alongside deep, future-altering, “who do I call now”, I can’t believe we’ll never have a conversation again”, “what do I do now that __ is gone!?”
capital-G Grief. For years.
And – yes- it’s invigorating.
(Please know that Sad is right here. Sad and I are friends. Of course it’s Sad.)
But!
There’s nothing like the big “I thought my life was one way but now that’s impossible” life-shifting shakeup to really give you clarity.
I have such clarity that you will live in your body and I will live in my body for the entire rest of our lives until we each die. We each may live for many decades to come or may die unexpectedly anytime before then. So, whatever I do will be something I did in this life and whatever I don’t do will be something I didn’t do in this body. This life is the only one I know I have for sure.
That is a knowing that actively improves my life.
After my beloved tower of a mom died in 2016, I created a different life track for myself. I pursue more ease. I know that my life matters every day and not just at some point in the future.
Because of Grief, I am living my life on purpose. I am reading books about topics I am interested in, just to know more. I am connected to my love and spirit and energetic channels. I spend deeply connecting time with my very cool fun toddler and my yummy partner, I have time for drinking coffee with my journal, and standing in the trees with a view of the river (as I am right now), and I run a business that I deeply believe in, that people tell me regularly shifted things for the better in their lives.
I know I wouldn’t be here without the deep love turned deep grief that my mom created as her only body died. My friend Grief, with each subsequent loss, only deepened her lessons on Joy and Purpose and Clarity and Sadness and – above all- Love. Love. Love. Love.
So, thank you, dear Grief.
And thank you mom for kicking it off.
Happy Mother’s Day 🌈
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